If you’ve ever dealt with mean girls in middle school or high school, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The whispering, the fake smiles, the backhanded compliments, the group chats where you just know your name is being thrown around—it’s all exhausting.
For some reason, girls in middle school and high school thrive on drama. It’s like a sport. They love making subtle little digs at you, leaving you out of plans for no reason, or making sure you know they don’t like you without ever actually saying it. The worst part? Half the time, you have no clue what you did to make them not like you in the first place.
Middle School & High School Girls Are Just… Mean
Middle School: The Absolute Worst
Looking back, middle school felt like the end of the world when not everyone liked me. I’ve always been a people person, and finding out that some girls just didn’t like me—not because of anything I did, but simply because their friends didn’t—absolutely crushed me.
I won’t lie, middle school was rough. I begged my mom every single day to homeschool me. Can you imagine how heartbreaking it is for a parent to hear, “Mom, no one likes me. I don’t have any friends. My ‘friends’ make fun of me. Please don’t make me go.” And as much as my mom wanted to protect me, she didn’t give in. And honestly? I’m grateful for that now.
Even though I’m obviously so cool now (insert major sarcasm), middle school was a different story. I was still outgoing, still energetic, still me—but back then, that was considered weird or annoying. It was a time when not caring was cool, but I cared about everything. I freaked out when people cursed. I refused to lie to teachers. I thought breaking the rules was actually bad (which, looking back, is kinda adorable but also explains why I was such an easy target).
I would get relentlessly teased by a group of girls that I considered my best friends. I was too skinny and too tall, so I got called giraffe. I was adopted, and since my hair had a reddish tint in certain lighting, I got called Little Orphan Annie. And yeah, I laughed it off most of the time, but words are words—and when you’re 12, they hurt.
I had older friends who reassured me that this was just normal middle school behavior and that it would pass. And they were right—it did. But at the time, it was unbearable. Even my mom, who was all about “fighting your own battles”, was ready to transfer me to another school because of the harassment I was dealing with.
High School: Same Drama, Different Format
If I thought middle school was bad, 9th grade was worse. Freshman year is supposed to be fun—it’s when you start having school dances, real sleepovers, actual high school experiences. But for me? It was a year of feeling completely isolated from the people I thought were my friends.
I wasn’t invited to a single pregame before a dance that year. Do you know how embarrassing it is when your date’s mom asks where you’re getting ready and your mom has to say, “She wasn’t invited anywhere”? And then, after the dance, when all of my "friends" went to a sleepover together, I was the only one left standing alone in the parking lot, watching them leave without me.
And why? Because one girl decided she didn’t like me, and everyone else followed suit.
Now, I won’t act like I was perfect. I definitely had some mean girl moments myself. But the worst situation I got caught up in? I had a friend ask me what happened in class one day about another girl in our group. So I sent her a video explaining what everyone was saying. And what did she do? She sent it straight to a group chat—a group chat I wasn’t even in—where suddenly, I was the bad guy. I was the bully. I was the mean girl. And just like that, poof, I was officially on the outs.
The only people who still wanted to hang out with me? The guys in my world geography class. And let me tell you, that was short-lived, because a rumor started about me and one of the guys, and that friendship disappeared too.
The only thing that kept me sane that year was my best friend at the time. She was dealing with the same crap from this group, so we clung to each other. Her, me, and later, her boyfriend. And honestly? We stayed friends through it all, and I’m still close with them today.
Junior Year: The Peak of Petty
Ah, junior year, where everyone thinks they’re an adult but also acts like they’re in middle school.
This was the time of Finstas—anonymous Instagram accounts where people posted shady as hell things. Subtweets, vague call-outs, inside jokes meant to make someone feel excluded—it was a mess.
And you know what made it so much worse? The moms were just as bad as the daughters.
Yes, you read that right. The mothers got involved in the bullying.
At one point, a grown woman texted my mom about drama going on in our friend group. A grown. Woman. And my mom? She shut that down so fast. She told her, "I really don’t care. These are teenagers, and they need to grow up and figure it out themselves." Queen behavior. I have so many other stories about mom drama but that will have to be for another blog because it would be to long.
But Here’s the Thing—It Gets So Much Better in College.
The second you graduate and move on to college, everything changes. Suddenly, no one cares about the petty drama. People aren’t obsessing over who’s sitting with who at lunch, who’s dating who, or who got invited where.
You get to choose your people. You’re surrounded by way more people who actually have things in common with you, and you start forming real friendships—not just friendships based on convenience or social status.
College is full of different types of people, and the best part? No one is trying to be the Queen Bee. Everyone is too busy figuring out their own life, making memories, and just trying to survive college to worry about petty drama.
I went into college somewhat with the same group of girls I had tried (and failed) to be friends with throughout middle and high school. And let me tell you—those friendships, besides one or two, were very short-lived.
One of those friendships? My best friend to this day. She’s my ride or die, my person, and I genuinely don’t know what I would do without her. We had been in the same friend group since middle school, but we didn’t become true best friends until 10th grade—and thank God we did.
The other lasting friendship? My freshman year roommate. Yes, we had our ups and downs that year. Yes, we wanted to kill each other at times. But after everything, we were able to reconcile, own up to where we were both wrong, and move forward. And now? We still talk, and I consider her a real friend.
As for the rest of the girls from that group? They probably still think I’m a horrible person. Or trouble. Or just too much. But you know what? At this point in my life, who cares?
I found my lifelong friends—the ones who love me for me, not for what I could provide for them, not for who I knew, and not because I was just another name in their social circle.
And all those years where your parents tell you, “It’ll get better when you get to college”?
They aren’t lying.
Because that’s when you finally find your people—your ride-or-dies, your second family, the people you would do anything for because you know without a doubt that they would do the same for you.
The People Who Peaked in High School Stay There
You know the girls who were mean for no reason? The ones who made your life miserable? I promise you—they peaked. They’re the ones still talking about high school drama years later, while you’re out actually living your life.
And those moments where they made you feel less than? They won’t matter anymore. You’ll look back and realize that their opinions were never a reflection of you—only of them.
Who cares about the mean girls now? To be honest, I see their lives now and think, thank God I didn’t end up like them. Thank God I didn’t change who I was just to fit into their mold. Thank God I didn’t give in and become just as mean as they were.
Because here’s the truth: You can’t fight fire with fire. And that’s exactly what they want—a reason to be mean to you. A reason to keep dragging out the drama.
So do yourself a favor—unfollow them, stop checking in on them, and don’t give them the time of day.
Babe, you’ve got better things to do.
If You’re Dealing with Mean Girls Right Now…
Here’s my advice: Don’t let them break you. I know it sucks. I know it feels like you’re always walking on eggshells. But their approval does not define you. You are so much more than what some bitter, insecure girl says about you in a group chat.
Keep being yourself. Find the people who actually care about you. And when you finally get to college? Leave the mean girls behind and never look back.
So, to my little sister, or to any younger girl going through this, I want to remind you of something: God made you exactly the way He wanted you. He loves you, and He wouldn’t let you go through this if He didn’t believe you could handle it.
Girls can be mean—but at the end of the day, they’re still just girls. You don’t know what they’re going through, what’s happening in their life, or what insecurities they’re battling. Love them anyway. Because that’s what God does for you when you mess up.
Give grace until you can’t, but don’t give up on yourself. Mean girls will always exist, but how you handle them? That’s what matters.
You can’t fight fire with fire. At some point, someone has to be the water—the bigger person. Be yourself and never change for others. One day, you’ll find your people—the ones who love you for who you truly are.
Don’t change yourself to fit in, because then you lose yourself—and it’s not worth it.
And remember—no one fully knows what you’re going through, but your support system is there for you. Let them be there for you. Because at the end of the day, middle school and high school are supposed to be some of the best times of your life.
Don’t let a mean girl take that away from you.
toooooo good! love you bailey boo! 👏🏻🥰🥰